Mums, we don’t discuss enough how, somewhere along the line, we stop showing up for ourselves. As we navigate through the busyness and responsibilities of keeping the family together, we sometimes let those struggles define us. While it’s not entirely wrong for our households to become a part of our identities, they should not replace our original selves. Instead, they should complement who we are as individuals before we take on the roles of mums or mothers.
One of the biggest lessons of intentionality is that it produces results faster. When we are intentional, we control how things shift. But when we become laid back about important areas of our lives, things slowly begin to decline without us even realising it.
Here are three beliefs that I believe slowly weaken our confidence and make us become more laid back about how we show up.
I Need Expensive Things to Look Good
One of the biggest misconceptions many women have is that looking stylish requires spending a lot of money, owning designer items, or constantly buying new clothes. In reality, style isn’t about having more; it’s about knowing what works for you and learning to use what you already have effectively.
Style is a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned. Once you understand how to combine different pieces, work with colours, choose timeless staples, and dress with intention, you’ll realise that you don’t need a trendy wardrobe to feel beautiful and confident.
No One Is Really Looking at Me Anymore
Motherhood brings about significant changes. Life becomes busier, and priorities shift. As a result, many moms can start to feel invisible, often without realising it. This can lead to a decrease in effort when it comes to self-presentation. However, one important lesson I’ve learned is this: you are not dressing to impress others; you are dressing for yourself. How you present yourself affects how you feel, and how you feel influences your confidence, self-esteem, energy, and even the way you carry yourself each day.
Looking put together isn’t just about making an impression; sometimes, it’s about reconnecting with your true self.
Nothing Will Look Good on Me Anymore
Body changes after childbirth are real, and for many women, they can lead to feelings of insecurity. However, the issue often isn’t the body itself—it’s a lack of understanding. Different body types require different fits, styles, and silhouettes. Sometimes, nothing feels quite right simply because you haven’t yet discovered what works for your current shape.
This lack of knowledge can make a significant difference. There’s a saying that goes, “My people perish for lack of knowledge.” I believe this applies to our experiences with body changes as well. When women gain understanding, confidence tends to follow. This conversation isn’t about pressure or perfection; it’s about awareness. Being complacent about how we present ourselves affects more than just our appearance. It quietly impacts our confidence, our self-esteem, and how we navigate life.
The truth is, mothers deserve to feel confident. We deserve to feel beautiful at all stages of life—not only when circumstances are perfect or when our children are older. We can embrace this feeling now, even amidst the challenges of everyday life. Sometimes, all it takes is one intentional decision to start anew.
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Featured Image by Cotton Bro for Pexels
The post Titilade Ilesanmi: Mums, When Do We Start Showing Up for Ourselves? appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!.
Mums, we don’t discuss enough how, somewhere along the line, we stop showing up for ourselves. As we navigate through the busyness and responsibilities of keeping the family together, we sometimes let those struggles define us. While it’s not entirely wrong for our households to become a part of our identities, they should not replace
The post Titilade Ilesanmi: Mums, When Do We Start Showing Up for Ourselves? appeared first on BellaNaija – Showcasing Africa to the world. Read today!. Read More
